“It is easier to act your way into a new way of thinking than to think your way into a new way of acting.”
I became a dad at 33, which is the perfect age to think you have life figured out while still being wildly incorrect about most things.
I was old enough to own real furniture and young enough to believe sleep deprivation was “temporary.” Somewhere between confidence and delusion, fatherhood entered the chat.
Becoming a Dad in Oakland (Where Everything Costs More Than It Should)
My first son was born while my then-girlfriend (now wife) and I were living in Oakland, California—a place where the weather is perfect, the food is elite, and your bank account is constantly under attack.
Childcare in the Bay Area is not for the faint of heart. Daycare costs were so high they felt like a second rent—so we did what modern parents do: we got creative. We found a day nanny who ended up costing less than daycare and gave us peace of mind that no spreadsheet could measure. This felt like winning the parenting lottery and committing a minor financial crime at the same time.
We were exhausted, broke in that “high income, no money” way, and completely in love with our tiny human. It was survival mode—but the good kind. The kind where you’re exhausted, proud, terrified, and completely in love all at the same time.
Choosing Balance Over Bay Area Weather
Eventually, we asked ourselves the question many young family eventually ask: Is this sustainable—or are we just used to the chaos?
We wanted more space, more balance, and fewer moments where buying guacamole required a financial discussion. So we did something totally reasonable and not at all terrifying: we bought a house in Atlanta, Georgia…from out of state.
Next, we packed up our entire life and moved across the country with a baby, some boxes, and a dangerous amount of optimism. Miraculously, it worked. Atlanta gave us what we were looking for—better work-life balance, room to grow, and the sense that life didn’t have to feel like a constant negotiation.
Marriage, a Honeymoon, and a Plot Twist
Somewhere between settling into our new life and exhaling for the first time, we got married. Then we went on our honeymoon. And then—because life has impeccable comedic timing—we conceived our daughter on that same honeymoon.
Nothing reinforces the concept of “life moves fast” quite like unpacking wedding gifts while preparing for another baby. Life doesn’t ease up when you’re ready. It just keeps going. And somehow, you keep up.
Still Us, Just With More Snacks
One thing we promised ourselves early on was that we wouldn’t lose us. We still explore local restaurants and bars, travel for pleasure, and find time for intimacy. Is it spontaneous? Absolutely not. Is it romantic to schedule things in advance? Also no. Does it work? Surprisingly, yes.
Fatherhood doesn’t end your social life—it just forces you to be intentional. And maybe eat dinner at 5:30 sometimes.
Coaching Dad and Professional Play Fighter
Somewhere along the way, I became “coach.” Soccer, tee ball, basketball, flag football—I’ve done it all. Not because I’m chasing future scholarships, but because showing up matters. Also because I own a whistle now, which feels powerful.
At home, my son’s favorite activity is wrestling and play fighting with me. It’s loud, chaotic, and slightly dangerous. One day he won’t ask me to do it anymore, and I’ll miss it more than I can imagine—so for now, I tap in every time.
Becoming a Girl Dad (and Learning Everything All Over Again)
My daughter? She is glitter, princess dresses, and Bluey in human form. Being a girl dad is incredible, humbling, and deeply educational. It teaches you more about your partner, your past assumptions, and your views about women than any book ever could.
It softens you while making you stronger. And it makes you realize how much responsibility comes with shaping the way someone experiences the world.
What Fatherhood Has Taught Me (So Far)
Fatherhood didn’t make me boring—it made me better. It taught me how to prioritize what actually matters, how to value presence over perfection, and how to appreciate the chaos instead of fighting it.
Being a “cool dad” isn’t about trying to stay young. It’s about staying engaged. It’s about growth, curiosity, and showing up for your family without losing yourself in the process.
Why The Cool Dad Guide Exists
This journey is why The Cool Dad Guide exists.
It’s for dads who love their families deeply but still enjoy good beer, great food, smart gear, travel, fitness, and a life with intention. It’s for guys who believe fatherhood adds to your identity—it doesn’t erase it.
If that sounds like you, you’re in the right place.
Join the Cool Dad Community
If you’re a dad with responsibilities, ambition, and a little swagger left in the tank, I’d love for you to stick around.
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Because fatherhood is better when you don’t do it alone.
— The Cool Dad